My So Called Life - The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Embrace life -- both the sweet days and the bitter...embrace the joy and the sadness...the successes and the defeats -- for all of these things, both good and bad, have made you who you are.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Have You Ever Felt Invisible? - What Causes It?

So for some reason I have this ability to walk into a business and poof!...voila... shazam....I vanish! I mean it is absolutely uncanny.

I cannot tell you the number upon number upon number of times I go into Starbucks, place my order and then wait patiently while drink after drink after drink is made and passed to other customers...yet my drink never comes...customers who ordered after me get their drinks and go about their day and I am left waiting. I am forced with 2 options:

***Interrupt the barista to ask what happened to my drink
***Try and wait patiently to see if they remember my drink

One time I decided to play a little game to see how long it would take them to acknowledge me. I was in no hurry so I did this little experiment. About 15 - 20 minutes later I was finally noticed by the barista and asked what my drink was...phew

This has happened time after time after not quite sure whats up with that.

Today I walked into my haircut place and same thing happened. It is almost as if I vanished into the background. It was uncanny how no one in the haircut shop acknowledged me. It was weird because when I walked in, one of the employees looked at me and nodded his head towards a chair implying I should take a seat and wait because he was in the middle of cutting someone's hair.

Again I was in no hurry so I decided to wait and see how long it would take anyone to acknowledge me. I waited for over 45 minutes until someone finally acknowledged me to sign me in because they have to sign you in.

At first I was a little upset, but I quickly calmed down and again found it as interesting as my coffee experience.

Now I am just pondering the question, how is it that some people just tend to blend in and disappear and not get noticed.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

What If Everyone Cared - Is It Too Naive To Think It's Possible?

In my job, I tend to see the negative side of the average person. So much pent up anger, frustration, disappointment, expectancy, sadness, and rage. What if our better sides showed more often? Would that be such a bad thing?

What if each of us decided to pay it forward like the movie one time told us to do?

Who have you made a difference for lately? If you cant answer that question, then I challenge you to make a difference in someone's life starting now!

If you can easily answer that question, then I challenge you to do it again for someone else!

Friday, February 23, 2007

Has Anyone Seen The Fitness Show on Bravo - It's Called Workout!

The show Workout is a great show! It follows a woman named Jackie Warner, a hot lesbian, who opens up a gym in Beverly Hills called SkySportnSpa. Jackie is smart, hot, well spoken, and just down right bad ass....

I just have one thing to say though...

One of her trainers BRIAN PEELER is HOT!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

New Workout Program - Damn It Kicked My Butt!

So yeah I am still trying to workout and lose weight...I am sure no one is suprised by that. It has been an up and down struggle forever. I thought I was in reaonably decent shape but oh no...I am so not...

I went to my gym yesterday and did a circuit routine.

I completed a circuit of 5 ab exercises with 12 reps in each exercise.

Then I started my weights.

I did 2 sets of 12 on SQUATS

I did 2 sets of 12 on BENCH PRESS

I did 2 sets of 12 on PULLDOWN

I did 2 sets of 12 on MILITARY PRESS

I did 2 sets of 12 on UPRIGHT ROW

I did 2 sets of 12 on TRICEPS PUSHDOWN

I did 2 sets of 12 on LEG EXTENSION

I did 2 sets of 12 on BICEPS CURL

I did 2 sets of 12 on LEG CURL

Then I did the entire routine a second time. By the end of it, I was dead tired. This is the routine I got out of the ABS Diet workout book...I was so out of breath and exhausted...but felt great...

So yeah I am gonna stick with my workout routine to see what happens. I will change it up every now and then..hopefully will see some results in the next month or so...

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Personal Responsibility - Where Does It Begin?

So Mr. X has 8 - 10 credit cards along with his mortgage, his car payment, electricity, insurance, cell phone, etc...needless to say Mr. X has a LOT of bills.

So Mr. X suddenly receives a call from one of his credit card companies stating that they have not received a payment for 4 months. Mr. X proceeds to tell his credit card company that he has not received a bill from them but he recently moved so he would like to verify his address.

The credit card company has the wrong address for Mr. X so that is why he has not received his bills. Mr. X tell his credit card company that they should refund all charges and reinstate his 0% interest rate.

I tell Mr. X that it is his responsibility to pay his bill every month whether he receives a bill or not. If his bill never came for his car, he would still pay that or his car would be repossessed. If he never got his mortgage payment bill in the mail, he would still pay that or he would get evicted. If he never received his insurance bill, he would still pay that or he would have no coverage. So how is it any different for his credit card I ask? I tell him that he knows he had these credit cards and it is his responsbility to pay them every month.

He responds that he has too many credit cards and it is the credit card companies responsibility to send him a bill every month to remind him to pay because he cant keep up with all of his credit card bills.

I just laugh and sit in amazement, because Mr. X is actually serious! He truly believes that!

Is this what we have come to as a society. That we actually use the excuse that we have too much debt to keep up with so it is no longer our responsbility to pay it on time???

I think that is a sad statement about how some people in our society think!

And yes for those of you wondering...this was a REAL conversation!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Dixie Chicks Go 5 For 5 - Hell Yeah...Congrats Ladies!

Hell yeah I love the Dixie Chicks. And I am fucking ecstatic that they won EVERY Grammy Award they were nominated for:


***The last time one act won album, record and song of the year was in 1993 by Eric Clapton***

Their talent did not leave when the "comments" passed over their lips!

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Very Selfish and Self Contradictory Phase - That Is Where My Life Is At

I know it's a little ironic. At least from my perspective, that is what my life seems like. The things I seem to want are the same things that inside I feel a lack of desire for. Isn't that weird? Strange? Down right stupid?

I long for more friendships, more people in my life, a relationship with someone that could develop into something more.

And yet, at the same time, I want everyone to just leave me alone. I don't want to be bothered at all by anyone else and their problems. I feel like I have enough problems of my own and none of them are being solved so my inclination is to pull away from anyone and to retreat to myself.

It is completely fruitless and makes absolutely no sense. Could it be that I am a self-sabotager? Deliberatly trying to destroy and good that may come because in actuality I like the "struggle" I one of those people that is addicted to the depressing, sad part of life?

I am actually surprised I am writing this for the blogging world to see. I rarely give anyone much insight into my personal issues and thoughts I usually tend to keep it on the general.

So yeah...

Perhaps this is just a normal part of life. Meaning that overall I do want more people in my life and I do want more healty, friendships, etc. But maybe right now I am in a phase where I need alone time.

It is the "MICRO" vs the "MACRO" view of life.

On the MACRO side I want more people and more relationships, but on the MICRO side at this very instant in time, I need my own personal space.


Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Temptation At The Toughest Time - Battling The Bulge

So during my vacation I put on a few was worth it though. It has been a long, long time since I just sat around and did absolutely nothing for an extended period of time.

So now that I have been back, I am on my old workout program, etc. But last night, I had the biggest craving for M&Ms. I tried to resist it, but I could not.

I went to the store with the intent of buying a large bag of M&Ms and a gallon of milk. Yeah, bad can you get.

I reached for the bag and then looked at the label.

9 servings per bag and 220 calories per serving.

A whopping 1980 calories....WTF?!?!

I never knew there was that much in a large family size bag - b/c like most americans, I do not always read the labels on my food.

After wrestling back and forth, I ended up getting a diet coke and a chocolate mint protein bar. Phew...and I am so glad I I am so glad that I did not give in and down the whole bag of M&Ms...what a set back that would have been.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Some Of My All Time Favorite Songs - The Actual Videos

Sinead O'Connor - Nothing Compares 2 U

Madonna - I'll Remember

Alicia Keyes - If I Aint Got You

LeAnn Womack - I Hope You Dance

Truly, Madly, Deeply - Savage Garden

Some Of My All Time Favorite Songs - Not All Inclusive

So I was searching around YouTube today, and I started thinking about some of my all time favorite songs. Now obviously this can be a daunting task when one thinks about all the incredible songs written and sung over the years. This list is not all inclusive but here it goes.

Five of my All-Time-Favorites:

Nothing Compares 2 U - Sinead O'Connor

I'll Remember - Madonna

If I Ain't Got You - Alicia keys

I Hope You Dance - LeAnn Womack

Truly, Madly, Deeply - Savage Garden

Schick Quattro - For Me....Not So Good

So I went and spent 10 dollars on the new Schick Quattro...and then I went and spent about 10 more dollars on a new cartridge of replacement blades. Then I took it home.

I must say that this is (for me) quite possibly the worst razor I have ever used. Not only was it rough and irritating on my skin, but the shave was not nearly as close as I am used to with just a basic razor.

I have to say that the Gillette Mach 3 was better than this.

And when I turned on the vibrate button that allows the blades to vibrate as they move across your skin(...supposedly this is to provide a closer shave...) the irritation only increased.

I think after I was done I counted approximately 17 - 18 red bumps on my face and neck from the razor. Thank God for some good aftershave to take away the irritation.

I am sure that for some people, this razor has been good, but for me, it is the worst purchase I have ever made and I will be returning to the store to buy another brand soon.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

The Countdown Begins - I Am The Anti-Valentine

I have not had a valentine in 6 years!

So yeah I'm a bit jaded and bitter! :-) ha ha

When is my prince charming gonna come and sweep me off my feet and give me a damn rose and some chocolate on Valentine's Day?

Your Home SHould Be Your Sanctuary - An Escape From The Outside

I went shopping today which anyone who is close to me knows, is not something I do that often. But I went out with a mission. To buy those things...those precious little items that will make my home, my sanctuary.

Yes indeed...the need for my inner sanctuary was important enough to take me out into the wonderful world of malls, stores, discount sales, and clearance shelves.

But wouldn't you do the same thing? If your job provided you with so much stress you considered asking for prozac insted of your yearly raise, wouldn't you run out gladly and purchase those wonderful little extras which would help you create that escape from reality?

So that is what I did...and what a difference a day makes. I can honestly say that I am surrounded by peace, tranquility, candle light and nothing else. Just me and a wonderful cocktail enjoying the evening with no other distractions.

Now what little extras did I buy?...I can hear you asking as you read this...but alas...that little piece of knowledge is just for me. You know even though it is great to lead a transparent life...sometimes, you have to hold something back for yourself.

Each one of us needs certain things to feel at home, to feel at rest, to feel at peace. And those needs are individual and secret and precious to each person. And they are not to be shared lightly.

So that is my little secret of the day. What makes my place my sanctuary of peace you might ask? Well if I told you, then it wouldn't be for just me now would it.

Enjoy your sanctuary...I have mine...