So as some of you know, I have a roommate. We are not going to be roommates after our lease is up at the end of April. For the most part he is a good roommate. He has his irritating moments, as do I. We are not perfect but we get along pretty well and overall he is a nice guy. There is just one thing that gets to me: HE DOESNT EVER LISTEN TO ME WHEN I AM TALKING! Every time I come home he tells me about his day, his gripes, the complaints (he manages a restaurant so there is a lot to gripe about), the problems with his waiters and servers...the whole bit. And I listen to every word. I respond to let him know I am listening...I interject to probe and make him feel like I am interested in his day. And for the most part I am interested. But every time the subject turns to ME, he suddenly finds other things he needs to focus on. He loses interest in the conversation and mid-sentence will simply walk off and start focusing on something else.
In one classic example, we were on the steps outside of my apt and we were having apple martinis and talking. He was telling me about his day, his job, etc....we talked for about 25 minutes or so about his life and his job...and I kid you not, the moment (and I mean only seconds here) we started talking about me, he literally picked his martini glass up, walked to his car got some stuff out of his car and walked into the apt. All the while I was still standing next to the stairs with my jaw part open, part laughing, part in astonishment at what I was experiencing. The ultimate blow off and slap in the face. The ultimate "I dont give a shit about your day" statement. I could not believe it. I simply laughed to myself and walked inside and stored it away in my file system (yes Sam, that reference is for you).
Now, while that is an extrememe but true example, it is by far not the only one. Just tonight, we were sitting on the bed and I decided to tell him about an experience I had at work. The moment I started talking to him, he picked up his phone and started playing on it. Not once did he respond verbally until a few minutes after I had finished my story. And his comment only showed that he had not listened to a word I had said, as his comment was totally inconsistent with what I had been discusising.
I mean...ya know....I can understand if you are not totally interested in the work or life of a roommate, but you should at least have the decency and respect to ACT like you care. I mean afterall, they are your roommate and friend. I am not always interested in his day, but I make an effort to seem interested. I make an effort to be interested. That is all I ask. Is for the effort.
I mean....come on...95% of the time it is ME who does the dishes, ME who cleans the bathroom, ME who cleans the kitchen, ME who makes the bed, ME who organizes the living room, ME who cleans up the bedroom, ME who takes out the trash.
I know this has turned into a bitch session, but sometimes that is what you need to do. I really do LIKE my roommate. He lent me 400 dollars to have a root canal done several months ago and I am just now paying him back, so he has definately helped me out. And I know I have screwed up as a roommate. So I know that no one is perfect. But all I ask is for a little effort in making me feel like he takes an interest in my life outside of "who I'm talking to on gay.com" or "how big is that guy's dick". Sometimes, I feel like those are the only times he seems to get excited about a conversation. The only other times he is that excited is when the conversation is about his job, his life, his dating life, his new job possibility, his computer, his car. That is what it seems we always talk about.
Maybe Im a little jaded, and obviously this is a straw that broke the camel's back scenario. But its true, I really do like my roommate, just needed to vent out into the unknown. We all need to do that. And tomorrow I will come home and ask how his day was, because I REALLY do wanna know...