My So Called Life - The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Embrace life -- both the sweet days and the bitter...embrace the joy and the sadness...the successes and the defeats -- for all of these things, both good and bad, have made you who you are.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Evaluations Done! - What a Relief! I'm done evaluating my files for work. This is the part of my job that I absolutely love. I love reviewing and evaluating medical records and bills to determine a fair offer for settlement. I love the medical terminology and finding out which procedures are related to which injuries. My job is extremely stressful and I feel overloaded many times, but at the end of the day I know I have a purpose. I just don't always feel successful at it. But, that is part of the learning curve. Well, now I am going to call it a night so I can wake up tomorrow morning at 7:00 am and do it all over again!

Too Much Work - Too Little Time

Well I am at home now and it is 8:00 pm. I have about 2 hours worth of work to do at home this evening. I went to work this morning at 9:00 am this morning so I am not happy about finally being home and still having work to do.

I have 5 medical files that I need to evaluate in order to get offers out to these people. I'm just going to go to Starbucks and read through these medical records. Wish me Luck!

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

American Idol -Tonight's Mistake they kicked off Jessica Sierra...

One Word: ------ MISTAKE!!!

I am not saying that Anwar should have been kicked off. I personally would have chosen Anthony to get the boot. But that is what happens with live television.

North vs South - A Touchy Battle

Many differences still exist between the North and the South.

Check out this website. It is rather funny.

It highlights the battle between North and South.

But dont take it too seriously!

Fuck The South

Now Remember - I am from TEXAS!

Cleaning up your Apt - Cleaning up your Life - One in the Same???

I have heard it said before that the outward way in which you live reflects the state of your own being inside. Now there is no scientific proof to support this, but lets look at it in more detail.

Do you ever hear of someone changing just one aspect of their life? Rarely do I hear one of my friends saying "Im gonna totally change my lifestyle and get in shape, but Im still going to live in a pig sty!" No...What I hear is "Im gonna change my lifestyle and get in shape. Im gonna get my whole life in order."

Usually when we start correcting one aspect of our lives, we seem to want to improve all aspects. Suddenly, we want the laundry put up right when it is done in the dryer. We want our checkbook to always balance. We want our carpets cleaned and our trash taken out on time. We want to pay our bills on time, and we want to lose weight. It seems that improvement is a package deal.

It appears that this is a similar phenomenon close to the "Halo Effect". The halo effect is when something you see or experience is so good or bad that it increases either positively or negatively something else that is connected with that experience. For example, an employee may do ten things wrong, but if the one thing he does great is the most important thing to you as a manager, You as the manager will see that employee in a better light.

The same thing goes with positive changes. We seem to want them as a package deal and as soon as one aspect of our life improves we seem to want to share that improvement with other aspects. This is in no way a bad thing. It is the driving force within us that makes us want to be better than we are. To improve.

Well, I guess I am a living example. I am on a new workout program and seeing great results. And today on my day off I have been doing tons of laundry, cleaning my apt from head to toe so that all the areas of my life are in sync. Lets hope this continues into other areas as well.

A New Band for Me - HEART! I had heard of the band Heart, but I had never heard any of their music. Last week on American Idol, I heard Carrie Underwood sing "Alone" by Heart. I downloaded the song, and Carrie sounded just like the original group. I was amazed. It was a great song too. Check em Out! Oh...if you have not heard of RealRhapsody it is awesome. You can download as many songs as you want into an online library for only 9.95 per month. Check it out!

Life and Love in the Gay World

As people we are obviously drawn to be with other people. Even those of us who long for our alone time desire the companionship of friends at some point. But then comes that pesky topic of love. That thorn in our side that longs for a relationship. Is it really meant to be that difficult? I am 26 years old. I have not been in a long term relationship for almost 5 years. My last long term was in college with the most amazing guy. He moved off to Los Angeles and we dont talk anymore, but he will always have a place in my heart. His memory does not keep me form moving on, but rather the memory reminds me that love is possible.

So why does it seem difficult for a cute, stable, honest, intelligent guy like myself to find a guy to date. Am I too picky? Too scared to try again? I don't know. Actually, if I looked deep down I would probably be able to find the answer. Maybe I am just not ready. I am taking time off of dating right now to get to know myself better. Get to know who I am. Then I think I will be ready to find the person to spend my life with.

The Abs Diet - Fact or Fiction

I have started this new workout/diet program called the Abs Diet. I read the book and actually liked the idea behind the diet. Has anyone out there actually tried the Abs Diet and been successful. I am just now starting it. I dont have a lot of weight to lose but 15 pounds would be nice around the ole mid section. One thing is certain - I know I will save money by not eating out all the time. So maybe there is ONE definate benefit.

A Day Off From Work

So I woke up late this morning. I looked at my cell phone and it said 7:15. That is a problem considering I have to be at work by 7:30. So I called my boss and told her I would be working the late shift. Problem least i thought it was. My car broke down and couldnt even make it to work. So here I am - enjoying they day off. What should I do? Clean my apt? Go for a run? Waste the day away online? hmmm...I guess we'll see.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

The Round Up - Story of an Urban Cowboy

Well howdy ya' there is this gay bar called the Round Up. It is the country-western bar here in Dallas. I love this bar. It is so casual and laid back. You can go inside and feel totally at home and relaxed. I have spent many a night drunk in this bar. Because of this, I have started taking dance lessons. I do not as of right now know how to country dance. I know i should...I live, eat and breathe country music. It should be exciting and fun. Only problem is that i hate doing things in public and in front of other people that i cannot do well. Yeah...its a pride issue. Oh well, I will get over it.

American Idol

My favorite is by far Carrie Underwood. The girl is beautiful and wow can she sing!!!!


From the World of Gay to the World of God

Ok so I will try this again. Every time i try and post on my blog, an error happens and my blog is lost. Yes it can be frustrating but oh well...such is life. So anyway...back to the post....

We have all heard cannot follow god and be gay. It is impossible to have a substantial walk with the Lord and still live in the sinner lifestyle of a gay man. No matter how comfortable you are as a gay man, the confusion and the battle can tear at you inside. I have recently been thinking about my time in college when I followed God, attended church, read the bible, prayed daily, led a small church group, etc. etc. etc. blah, blah, blah. I have found that I actually miss parts of my old life. Does this mean that I am going to go back to the church and leave the gay lifestyle completely? No...because walking with God is simply more than going to Church. I am not sure what impact this thought path will have but for now I simply send it out for anyone to read.

Monday, March 28, 2005

A Vain Attempt to Inform the Uninformed

I was inspired to start this weblog by my friend Sam after reading his weblog. Hig blog was filled with such honesty, passion and intensity that i felt compelled to put my thoughts on paper. It is therapeutic and refreshing to send your thoughts out into the world for everyone to read. There is something so freeing about it. It stimulates such freedom of thought and freedom from all boundaries that you truly see who you are and what you are to become.