My So Called Life - The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Embrace life -- both the sweet days and the bitter...embrace the joy and the sadness...the successes and the defeats -- for all of these things, both good and bad, have made you who you are.

Friday, July 28, 2006

The Truth Of Friendships - An Impromptu Writing

Friendships taken many forms
But the friendships that endure
Are those that challenge and shape us
Those that force us to examine our lives
And when we find something that needs to change
They help to find the correct path to take
These friends force us to make choices
Choices that we may not understand
But we know because out of trust
That they are the best for us

Friendships take many shapes
We may not always recognize them
But soon they become clear and endure
Becoming the fabric and foundation of love
Strengthening us for the challenges of this life
And giving us the hope to endure hardships
Allowing us an outlet to share and cry
Giving us a shoulder to lean upon
They endure both good and bad

Saturday, July 22, 2006

What Kind of Gay Man Are You? - Let's Find Out I clicked on Scotty's blog and saw the link for the gay quiz he saw on Spiderman's blog. So I took can check out the results below:

You scored as Straight Acting. Heya you are on the straight and narrow but still enjoy a good cute guy with a pint of beer.

Straight Acting


The all-round cute gay guy


A Big Bear




Raging Queer


Straight Queer Basher


S + M guy


What type of Gay are YOU?
created with

Changes At Work - More Enjoyable

So over the past couple of weeks, there have been some great developments at my job that have made it more enjoyable. It is amazing what a few changes can make in your outlook on your job.

I began training some of the new people at work. They are able to sit with me and watch how I work my files. I take them through the computers system and teach them about how to interact with the customers etc. It is almost as if this has given me new life and new purpose at work. Also, many of these new employees come to me constantly to ask questions and get advice. I do not think I have ever felt more important in my career than I do right now.

I have received praise from my direct manager about some of the employees I have trained due to their proficiency in documentation. The compliment from my manager means almost as much to me as a raise. It is very rewarding to sit with an employee, train them, send them out on their own, and to see them successful and confident. That is quite possibly the biggest reward.

There are several other changes which are going to be of which is that I may have a new schedule soon. I may be switched to a Tuesday thru Saturday schedule. The change was suggested to our manager during out last unit meeting at work. This would be great because I love having a day off during the week and I do not mind getting up on Saturday morning to work. In fact my first job out of college was a Tuesday thru Saturday schedule and I loved I guess we will see...

So yeah - work is lookin much better nowadays. I am not sure how long this will last but I will ride the wave as long as I can.

Yeah yeah yeah...I know this is not the usual deep, life challenging post I usually make, but I thought it would be nice for you guys to hear about some of the stuff happening in my life for a change.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

I'm Not Ready To Make Nice - Words To Live By

I was driving in my car today listening to the radio which was set to the local top 40 station. I only have 1 station tuned to country in my car and lately I have been moving away from country music. I just haven't heard or found that many songs lately in the country genre that I felt were "quality". I mean lets face can only hear so many songs about beer, tractors, an ex wife, and beaches. Suddenly I heard the beginning of the Dixie Chicks latest song. I was actually kind of glad to hear them on a station other than country. I have always liked them...from their first album, during the drama of insulting the President...even till now.

The Dixie Chicks aren't ready to make nice...and frankly I don't blame them. Not because I hate the President or I agree with the Chicks's politics. But I don't blame them because if you believe something strongly and it is a passionate conviction in your life, then you should stand behind that belief no matter what anyone else says.

I heard and then read the words to this song "Not Ready To Make Nice" and I was floored. Each line in the song has such depth and meaning beyond politics. This song can be applied to any person whoever believed something that a majority did not believe in. To any person whoever voiced an opinion that made others uncomfortable. To anyone whoever refused to compromise their personal beliefs and ideals. To any person who paid a price for voicing what they believed.

As the song says:

"Im through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price
And Ill keep paying"

When you know what you believe in and you can say that there is nothing left for you to figure out, then stand...when you are forced to pay the price, then stand...when you keep paying the price, just stand...because it is worth to keep paying the price then to compromise on what you believe in...


"It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it
I made my bed and I sleep like a baby"

Sometimes, those things in life that appear to destroy everything we have are simply preparing use for a new stage in life. If you are doing what you believe in and have no regrets then you should not lose sleep and should not lose any enjoyment in life. Do not regret the things worth standing up for.

I strongly encourage each reader of this post...even if you don't like country below and listen to the song "Not Ready To Make Nice." Listen to the words rather than just watching the video. Listen to how these words can be applied to each one of our lives. Let it inspire you to find out what you believe. Let it fill you with conviction to stand for what you believe in.

It is not about liberal or or or's about a message of standing for our right to say what we want, when we want and how we want...and when we do ready to stand.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Happy Birthday To Me - I Am 28!

Sunday, July 09, 2006

From The Outside Looking In - A Look At Myself

I started out writing this post earlier but I deleted the entire entry and am now starting over. The post just didn't seem to be real. There were my words and my thoughts on the page, but yet somehow it did not seem to be me who was writing. It appeared that for the first time I was not writing for myself but I was writing in a certain way for those who would eventually read the post. I could not live with that. I could not live with allowing anything I write to be influenced by the eventual audience. Therefore, that earlier post had to be sent into the history books and a new post begun in its place.

My posts as of late tend to be of an introspective nature. I have been really trying to look at my life and myself and trying to dissect what I see. It is not always the easiest or cleanest process to be honest. Sometimes when you look at yourself with blunt honesty with no rose colored glasses, you do not always like what you see.

I am finding out that I do not really like a lot of what I see when I look back at myself and my life. I am not happy with what I see in the mirror and I am not happy with what I see on the inside.

The ironic thing is that I do not find myself depressed. I find not difficulty in continuing my life as before. I am not confined to my bed drowning myself in sappy movies and chocolate. Ha Ha! I still find joy in life. I still love to stay active and meet people. I still love to smile.

It is just that when I examine my life I find so much left that I want to do and so much left that I want to be. I met this guy for dinner tonight at a local deli for dinner. From the moment we began talking he just had this zest for life. I could tell that he truly enjoyed life and truly enjoyed himself and his place in the world. When he smiled talking about the stuff he did, it lit up the entire restaurant.

And it must not be construed that I have nothing in my life that I am happy with or am proud of. I just think there is so much left for me to do and I do not want to fall into a rut where I do not accomplish any of it.

So I guess as I am sitting here writing out my thoughts and working through things, I would say that I am not unhappy with all that I is more that I see untapped potential of what I could be. And I desperately do not want to waste the opportunity I have in this life.

Because as I discussed with a friend earlier...

We have only one life - there are no refunds or exchanges...But upgrades are allowed and I intend to upgrade my life as much as I can...

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy 4th Of July!

Sunday, July 02, 2006

The Smile Of A Stranger - Cause For Envy

I sat in starbucks today reading through the news online when a really cute guy walked in and sat down at the table directly in front of me. He opened up his laptop and started typing away.

He was chatting with someone online and he kept smiling and laughing at what he was reading. It was cute to watch. His smile was so warm and so cute. And it made me wonder...

Do I make people smile like that in my life? Are there people when I chat with them online..or when they think of me...that I am cause enough for them to smile?

I wonder...