My So Called Life - The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Embrace life -- both the sweet days and the bitter...embrace the joy and the sadness...the successes and the defeats -- for all of these things, both good and bad, have made you who you are.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

From the World of Gay to the World of God

Ok so I will try this again. Every time i try and post on my blog, an error happens and my blog is lost. Yes it can be frustrating but oh well...such is life. So anyway...back to the post....

We have all heard cannot follow god and be gay. It is impossible to have a substantial walk with the Lord and still live in the sinner lifestyle of a gay man. No matter how comfortable you are as a gay man, the confusion and the battle can tear at you inside. I have recently been thinking about my time in college when I followed God, attended church, read the bible, prayed daily, led a small church group, etc. etc. etc. blah, blah, blah. I have found that I actually miss parts of my old life. Does this mean that I am going to go back to the church and leave the gay lifestyle completely? No...because walking with God is simply more than going to Church. I am not sure what impact this thought path will have but for now I simply send it out for anyone to read.


  • At 8:31 PM, Blogger JulieDee said…

    Darlin', take it from someone who has walked your road and ended up at the right place to be. Any God that would judge you on who you love isn't one Jesus would even be distanly related to. Society makes it hard on gay folks, sure. But that extra burden and the dignity we carry it with is the mark of how strong and righteous we really are.

    Things were much harder on us 30 years ago when I first came on the scene. In most places if more than 3 of us were gathered together we could be arrested. It was not unheard of for gay folks to be forcibly castrated and lobotomized. The latter happened to a cousin of mine and scared the living GOD out of me at the time.. and that was in CALIFORNIA!!! Had it not been for the Great Stonewall Insurrection it would have driven me back into the closet.

    Coming together in community is something that I know can help you work through these feelings. Find a support group or a local social club or even start an online group. Your life is precious, and God does not make mistakes. If being gay really were a sin, God would not have made you that way.

  • At 8:52 PM, Blogger Matthew said…

    I absolutely agree with you Juliedee - I am very accustomed to being gay and am ok with it - i am merely challenging myself to think about things in a different way now - I thank you for the comments - you seem like a great gal :-)

  • At 4:06 PM, Blogger Schlitz25 said…

    I relate to your flashbacks and frustrations. I remember being so in love with God that it physically hurt... sometimes i couldn't stand, and i thought i was going to just pass out. So in love that all I could do is cry. And I find myself asking what happened.


  • At 2:18 AM, Blogger Scotty said…

    Matt, I ahve also been there. Iwas the Music Minister for ten years. WHen I came out they kicked me out and asked me not to come back...ever. That was real Christian of them. I miss a lot of what I was doing those days but have tried to fill my life with other things.

    I DO still believe in God but have issues with organized religion and church. For obvious reasons.

  • At 5:27 PM, Anonymous Heath said…

    Hi Matt
    I ask myself that all the time. I have not found a way to do a gay lifestyle and live as a righteous man who loves God. It divides my heart. And can really create a struggle on the inside. I can relate.

  • At 11:42 PM, Blogger Matthew said…


    I completely understand - it can be tough


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