My So Called Life - The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Embrace life -- both the sweet days and the bitter...embrace the joy and the sadness...the successes and the defeats -- for all of these things, both good and bad, have made you who you are.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Calling For The Money - My Sister Finally Contacts Me!

So I have called my sister about 4 - 5 times over the past 5 - 6 weeks. I have attempted to contact her at her home number. Problem is that she has privacy director which does not allow me to reach her each time I call her home number it disconnects me. She also has a cell # which I have called and left multiple messages over the past weeks as well. All told I probably tried to reach my sister by telephone approximately 10 least. That does not even include the 3 times I talk to my parents per week and tell them each time to tell my sister I said hi and to have her call me.

You see my siblings and I have never been that close. Growing up we did not hang out much or do many things together. We were distant and nothing has changed that much over the years.

I think over the past 3 years I have spoken to my sister on the phone less than 5 times and my brother only 2 times at best. I have not seen my brother in several years and before that it was at least 3 years. My brother has a valid reason why I don't see him...he is in the navy that does make it very difficult. But still this is the technology age of instant message, email, and cell phones. You would think that as siblings, we could talk and keep up. But we don't.

So around the beginning of the year I decided to change. I started asking more about my brother and sister and trying to contact them more. Particularly my sister since she is closest to my parents as well.

So yeah...needless to say I have been trying to start keeping up with my brother and sister more...they are after all my direct blood could be a good thing to know what is going on in their lives.

I can understand why my brother does not call as much...many times he is physically not able I can cut him some slack...My sister has no excuse.

I mean I realize that she has 3 kids...only 2 live with her and one of them is in school. She stays at home and does not work...obviously raising her kids is her job and she is a good mom...but damnit I am her brother and if I try and call and reach out to you, it would be nice if you could take 5 minutes and call me back.

For the first time in my life, I want to talk to my sister to find out about my nieces and nephews and see how she is doing...

So yesterday I check my email and I get an email from my sister...she says she has been busy and to remember that I promised to contribute to my niece's camping trip or something like that...she said the money is due soon so I need to remember that I promised to contribute.

Today I get a voicemail saying she has been busy and restating her email.

I must say I am a little bit pissed off....there was no talk of interest as to my life, my job, or was just an "I've been busy" and "I need your money".

It comes off as a very lame attempt to reach out and touch my wallet rather than reaching out to touch me by telephone...

But of course I will give it b/c its my niece and I love her more than life itself. I love all my nieces and nephews...they are wonderful kids... I don't tell them enough but I miss them when I don't see them.

I understand my sister is busy with a family and kids and such...but still....she obviously has come down with a case of seriously bad timing...Perhaps I need to give her time to get to the same place I am at...we have been so distant for so long that maybe she needs time to catch up....but she is my sister and I am always for her...I love my sister...

I am at a point in my life where I can honestly say it and mean it...took me a while to get there...but I am glad I arrived...


  • At 9:32 AM, Blogger savante said…

    Still wondering why you need to pay for her daughter's camping trip! Isn't that a bit irregular?


  • At 2:27 PM, Blogger The Persian said…

    Hm..I understand the generous loving thought on your part, but it's just in bad taste for her to REMIND and ASK you for the money.

    It's been my experience (at least with my family) that because I am a single gay guy, my life and daily activities are of little interest to them, and if I talk to my sister once every other month that's a LOT.

  • At 3:27 PM, Blogger Sangroncito said…

    Sis needs a lesson from Miss Manners! Perhaps if you told your parents about her response they might talk to her about it.

  • At 4:55 PM, Blogger Matthew said…

    Yeah Sangroncito - perhaps you are right - time will work it out! :-)

  • At 11:13 PM, Blogger Derek said…

    your a great guy, and a giving brother, sounds like your going way above and beyond. I have a very close family.


  • At 5:17 PM, Blogger Jim said…

    A little bit rude but maybe she needs more time to get to know you again.

  • At 5:58 PM, Blogger Matthew said…


    yeah maybe you are right - maybe she needs time to move beyond what are our relationship was....i hope so...


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