My So Called Life - The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Embrace life -- both the sweet days and the bitter...embrace the joy and the sadness...the successes and the defeats -- for all of these things, both good and bad, have made you who you are.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

So Shy They Can't Talk - It Can Be Painful

So what do you do when the person you are having dinner with says NOTHING.

And I dont mean nothing in the sense that they arent saying anything important. I mean literally nothing. Not a sound. Not a peep. Not a damn syllable or even breath. It can absolutely painful.

I recently experience that with this hot guy. I have always thought he was so damn hot. We had dinner tonight but he didnt talk at all. He did not ask me one single question. I asked all the questions and kept the conversation going. When I stopped talking the conversation ended.

Now after we finished eating, I got the impression that he would have hung out more but there isnt a lot to do on a Wednesday night in Dallas. He told me to call him and suggested at one point we could do something on Friday since there wasnt a lot going on tonight. He truly is a nice guy, but it totally threw me off....

But I could not help but wonder during dinner...was he not curious to learn anything about me? Or is he just that painfully shy? hmmmm......

what do you guys think?

7 Comments:

  • At 12:57 AM, Blogger Jim said…

    Yeck, that. I've had that happen too. Sometimes its insecurity, sometimes its just a total lack of social skill.

    This kinda ties back to your confidence post, doesnt it?

     
  • At 1:33 AM, Blogger Always_Adventuring said…

    Wow, that's strange. Perhaps he'll loosen up with time, maybe grow more comfortable? Good luck with him - I'd say give him some time. He may open up... or could he just be the strong silent type?

     
  • At 4:08 AM, Blogger purpletwinkie said…

    I've been in your shoes. Years ago I met a guy that I really liked. We talked on the phone/online, but when out at dinner he was nearly silent. It was so odd and a turn-off to me. I realized that he was very shy and uneasy in public (like "hello I am GAY" was printed on his forehead). We lived near each other and continued to hang out. There was no romance, but we became good friends and that shyness slowly dissipated.

     
  • At 10:42 AM, Blogger Schlitz25 said…

    Here's my suggestion Matt.. the "pearls" if you will... of course i can say this as sideline coach...

    Was this a first date...? I would suggest when you dont know someone so well that when planning a date you build in a small about of time for conversational intimacy, BUT perhaps more time in the date where the focus isnt on you two but your still having a good time...be creative. One of the best dates i had once, and you know i usually slut it up so i dont go on too many, was going to the gym..it was great.

    But although im long winded here (mostly cause your damn phone isnt working) but you get my point, plan some variety to account for it.

    It doesnt mean hes not into you, it just obviously means you dont want to go out for a long sit down dinner with him again, or a long intimate coffee time.

    Find out what he likes to do for fun, and try that.

     
  • At 12:40 PM, Blogger BRETTCAJUN said…

    Hmmm... perhaps he had a lot on his mind and was thinking a lot. The one great thing about seeing GUYS is that most of them do not chatter away like a bunch of hens (like females do). I cannot deal with a Chatty Kathy, but total silence is kind of spooky. I feel for you. It must have been very bizarre!

     
  • At 9:03 AM, Blogger Schlitz25 said…

    Ok, i have to add to this again because im posting about it today...shy and not being able to talk is one thing...what about shy and not being able to reciprocate sexually!! I dont know whats worse and leaves one feeling put out...I had that happen last nite...it sucked...but wait.. only for him.

     
  • At 3:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I have actually had a date go that same way and thing is i know the guy was attracted to me and everything. I am a good communicator though and i need someone i am dating or in a relationship with to also be a good communicator. The guy i dated also shouldnt have been shy since we had known each other for like a year before we dated so he should have been able to talk to me.

     

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