My So Called Life - The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Embrace life -- both the sweet days and the bitter...embrace the joy and the sadness...the successes and the defeats -- for all of these things, both good and bad, have made you who you are.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

A Globe As A Gift - Making A World of Difference

I found out this week that my grandmother on my mom's side has about 1 - 3 months to live. She has been diagnosed with breast cancer and it spread to her whole body. I found out about my grandmother's illness b/c of a Christmas gift she sent to me. She sent it to my parents address b/c she did not have my address. While my father was telling me about the gift, etc..he mentioned my grandmother's illness.

But first let me fill you in on some history...

I am not close to my grandmother at all. It is not that I do not like her or miss her. I guess the reason for my lack of connection is my lack of communication. I have not spoken to her since my teenage years. She is estranged from my mother and they have not spoken in a long time either.

In fact, even though my mother knows her mom is about to pass on, she refuses to call her mother. I honestly do not know all of the history that brought about the split between my mother and my grandmother, but I am saddened that it has come to this.

So anyway, my grandmother sent me a globe - not just any globe - it is a globe where each country is a unique precious gemstone and the base is 14k gold plated. Its a very nice globe and I was absolutely shocked to have received it considering that I have not spoken to my grandmother in so long.

But it made a world of difference in how I view my grandmother. I was touched that she thought of me - it should not shock me - I mean don't most grandmothers think of their grandchildren and wonder how they are doing?

I think of my grandmother every now and then and I wonder how she is doing. She is the last one of my grandparents that is still alive. I will be sad when she passes on because she is family - and when it comes down to it, I love my family - every member...whether I see them or not. They are my blood and I am connected to them in a way that I can never be to everyone else.

So this globe will be special - it will be the last thing I receive from her most likely - I will think of her every time I look upon it...

But I can say this - when my parents pass on I will be there if I can - and I will leave nothing unspoken. Estrangement has no place in my life or in my family.


  • At 6:52 PM, Anonymous Dewayne said…

    I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. My grandma passed away about 3 years ago, she was diagnosed with cancer herself. Her heart couldn't stand the chemo though. :( My mom passed away from a heart attack 5 years ago. So I know how you feel. Take care my friend and I hope your grandma is around longer than the doctors predict!

  • At 11:25 AM, Blogger Ethernet Jock said…

    That is very sad... and estranged family relations are always painful.

    Give your mom the benefit of the doubt though, she loves you, and she probably thinks she's looking out for you. Your Grandmother at one time in her life might've been something like my father - who whom I will never allow access to my children beyond a short visit once or twice a year.

    Good luck dealing with this, there really isn't much to give as true advice.

  • At 11:29 PM, Blogger Matt said…


    I just wanted to say that I've been reading your blog for a little while now. I really enjoy it.

    I never really knew my grandparents. Both my grandfathers died before I was born, and my grandmothers both suffered from dimensia. Ethernet Jock is right; estranged family relations are hard. Good luck. You're taking a good approach though, in learning from others what you DON'T want to do. I always try to tell my two sons that I love them whenever we talk on the phone. I think it's important that I verbalize it.

  • At 6:44 AM, Blogger savante said…

    It's terribly sad to hear that someone in the family has a tumour that has metastasized, even if they have been estranged for some time. Have you thought of going to see her?


  • At 4:58 PM, Blogger Jim said…

    Matt, so sorry to hear about your grandmother.

    My grandmother gave me a special gift when she knew she was about to pass on. Its a remembrance; it would be the one thing I would run back in to save if my house went up in flames.

  • At 8:15 PM, Blogger Sangroncito said…

    I wish I had my grandparents back because I`d ask them soooooo many questions about family history...get your family oral history from you G.M. and you will treasure it.

  • At 9:08 PM, Blogger Ryan said…

    sorry 2 hear bout your grandma.

  • At 9:58 PM, Blogger hbjock said…

    Hey handsome, long time no see...

    I'm sorry to hear about your grandma. I lost mine to kidney failure when I was about 9 years old... and because she lived in California, I didn't get to see her very often.. now that I think back at it, I really wish that I had known her a lot more... because when my neices and nephews ask me about her in the future... I really don't know what would be able to say about her, other than the fact that I know she loved me..


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