My So Called Life - The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Embrace life -- both the sweet days and the bitter...embrace the joy and the sadness...the successes and the defeats -- for all of these things, both good and bad, have made you who you are.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

New Orleans, Southern Decadence, and the Scabies Infestation - Oh the Memories

The year was 2002. I was living in an area of Dallas called the village - a group of 13 different apartment complexes in the heart of Dallas. I had moved in with my best friend Adam, who also happened to work with me. Samuel had come up for a visit that fall and the subject of Southern Decadence came up. Now from my memory (and Sam correct me if I'm wrong) the idea of the trip was rather spur of the moment. I don't believe this was a long planned out trip.

The trip was 9 hours to and from New Orleans over the course of one weekend. Yes...this was going to be a LONG trip. I was actually very excited about the trip down there. I had only been to New Orleans once before and it was just passing through on my way to Pensacola (again a trip I took with Samuel). I had heard many stories about Southern Decadence and I was eager to see if they were all true.

Not to bore you with too many details about the car trip....9 hours later we arrive in New Orleans...

We had decided to stay at a hostile that Sam knew about. I had never stayed in a hostile before but it was cheap and available and on a limited cash flow, cheap was always good. We arrived in New Orleans and Samuel wasted no time in directing us to the 24 hour bar, OZ. I don't even think we had gone to the hostile first.

Pulling into town at around 7 am, the bar scene called his name like a long lost lover. He was drawn, and so we ended up at the bar at the ass crack of dawn. We walked around the bar and I got a sampling of things to come.

The bar was packed with people dancing, grinding shirtless, and making out all over the place. It was pretty tame being only 7 am. The real fireworks were to come later on that evening when we would return...Finally able to pull Samuel away from OZ we left for the hostile.

We arrived and settled into our rooms. We rested a little bit before heading out into the wonderful city of New Orleans....

Southern Decadence here we come....

Now to be perfectly honest, I wanted to experience Southern Decadence but part of me went as a chaperone to Sam. As you know he has a tendency to be wild....but back then he was a lot more tame than he is now. I cannot remember the names of all the bars we went to...Sam probably can but I actually don't think it was that many....

The experience of Southern Decadence for me though centers around what I saw at OZ. I saw sex, sex, sex, and more sex. WOW - it was upclose and personal. I felt like I had front row seats at a live porn show. I was floored. You see...this was thepoint when I barely drank alcohol at all....

Yes you sons a bitches - my alcoholism is a recent phenomenon...:-)
I can honestly say I saw a few instances of people actually having sex, I saw a lot of oral sex, some rimming, other wild behavior, and everyone had a smile on their face...except for me....ha ha

In my opinion, the bar was HOT (as in temp wise), the bar was incredibly smoky (my lungs have just now recovered 3 years later), I didn't see that many hot guys, the guys I did talk to were obviously high on something and I doubt it was life - it was so crowded I could barely move - and the one time I went on the dance floor which lasted for 5 minutes, I almost collapsed from heat exhaustion.

I left the bar and walked outside and was like damn. I thought to myself:

"...I run 4 miles 3 - 4 times a week. I am in great shape, and I can barely survive in there..."


WTF?

So while Samuel caroused inside the bar I walked up and down the streets of New Orleans checking out shops, talking with locals, drinking a margarita which I think was my only drink of the night.

I don't remember what time Samuel and I met up - we had talked and agreed on a preset time to meet up outside of OZ. To my amazement, Samuel showed up on time. But damn, was he plastered. And I am not talking bout normal plastered. I mean shitty ass, gone down the well, cant stand on his own drunk!

We make it to my car, and he collapses on the ground and lays out there spread eagle in the roadway. Then the funniest part of the night comes...at least for me.

I get him in the vehicle. I walk around and get into my drivers side and close the door. I look over to the passenger seat and what do I see......

I see Samuel stroking my emergency break...

And what does he say....

"....Matt...look - it's a PENIS!..."

I busted out laughing my ass off. It was the funniest damn thing I had seen that whole weekend. Amazingly Samuel is able to direct us back to the hostile, because I am incapable of finding my way around a new town...

We get to the hostile and Samuel crashes asleep...I attempt to do the same...

We awake the next morning (Sunday morning) and we get up and get going to spend part of the day in New Orleans before heading back. We went downtown to view the gay parade that was traveling through as part of the celebration.

I saw some crazy ass bitches in that parade but they all seemed to have a good time. We get some food and we get gas, and we again depart for Dallas after one of the craziest weekends.

But the story doesn't end there. We brought back some little visitors from the hostile. After arriving in Dallas and parting ways, I noticed that my legs started itching really bad. It started spreading up my legs and then appeared on my chest.

Damnit - I knew what it was. It was scabies (little dust mites) from the hostile. I made an appt with my doctor, got some cream, and I was good to go.

I neglected to call Samuel however. He didn't know and he suffered with the itching for weeks and weeks. But come on really...if you start itching all over the place, wouldn't you see a doctor...:-)

I'm sure Samuel will have a few comments to add about this one, but it ranks in the record books for me...I will always envision Samuel molesting my car...

Thank God Kia offers a support group...my Kia has finally recovered...

12 Comments:

  • At 9:20 AM, Blogger Schlitz25 said…

    Surprisingly even I cant wait to relive this one...yikes.

     
  • At 9:23 AM, Blogger Schlitz25 said…

    And your "coming soon" logo is very enticing...why didnt i think of that?

    well, you have turned this blog out chile. This is a reinvention of Madonna proportions, perhaps even the plastic surgery levels of Michael Jackson!

     
  • At 10:16 AM, Blogger Matthew said…

    Yes - I am often told I remind people of Madonna :-)

    I felt it was time for a reinvention -

    What does everyone think? :-)

     
  • At 2:32 PM, Blogger Nettie said…

    What about Michael Jackson? (Sorry, couldn't resist!)

     
  • At 3:02 PM, Blogger Matthew said…

    Ha Ha - no i dont resemble michael jackson yet - thank god! :)

     
  • At 11:34 PM, Anonymous sam said…

    OMG, scabies... note to self: if I must sleep in a hostel, make sure to... stay awake all night long and not get in the bed. Dayum!

     
  • At 12:34 AM, Blogger Scotty said…

    This was hilarious. Joel and I went to SD in 2003 and it was lamo since Some religios group got nudity below the waist banned in public places. We saw absolutely no sex...saw lots of cock when the guys got to the point that they said fuck it and started flashing for beads but NO SEX. We still had a great time. We drove 14 hrs there on Friday and 14 Hrs back on Monday JUST in time for me to come straight to work Tuesday morning..not even a shower. We reserved a Day's Inn...that shoud be OK...right? Wrong...it was one street across from the 'hood. Taxi drivers even hesitated to take us back at night.

     
  • At 12:52 AM, Blogger Matthew said…

    Ha Ha - too funny - I dont think I will be going back to Southern Decadence ever again -

    I have had my fill :-)

     
  • At 8:58 AM, Blogger Schlitz25 said…

    Well...i will just say that there are two sides to every story...now if i were to title an entry regarding our trip..i would prolly call it. Somber and Sorrowful Decadance...or Southern Restraint From Decadance.

    Somber because i was ready to party but my partner not so much. And sorrowful because i got scabies...AND i didnt even hook up with anyone...how bad is that.

    Btw- the cosmo looks so good..

     
  • At 1:25 PM, Blogger Sangroncito said…

    I got scabies once but I thought it was ring worm because I was working in a school and so I treated it with ringworm medicine until I finally went to the doctor. Damn that itched! I got it in a sleazy hotel in Tijuana.

     
  • At 5:31 PM, Blogger Kree Kra said…

    So you guys were responsible for the great Central Texas Scabies Outbreak of 2002-03?

     
  • At 7:41 PM, Blogger Matthew said…

    yes..yes we are

    actually Sam is - i never went to Central Texas :-)

     

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