My So Called Life - The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Embrace life -- both the sweet days and the bitter...embrace the joy and the sadness...the successes and the defeats -- for all of these things, both good and bad, have made you who you are.

Friday, July 15, 2005

First Impressions Revisited - The Final Chapter

Ok...so here is the conclusion, the final chapter about the guy who made the interesting first impression on me. In short, we will not be hanging out anymore... so now let me give you the details.

Realize that I have talked to this person on the phone only 3 times and I have met him only once in person. Keep that in mind as i give you these details...

Ok...so after our 3rd phone call we decide to meet up at his place (which I drove 40 minutes to get to at 11:00 pm at night) and watch a movie. So we watch Kinsey (actually a really good movie). We talk, hang out, kiss a little - i have to give it to him...he is a good kisser. Now this is Wednesday night. He asks me to hang out on Thursday night. I say sure that should be ok and I go home.

Now the next day I get off work exhausted and fall asleep when i get home. He calls me and its around 8:30 or so. He asks if we can hang out. I exlpain that I am tired and I dont feel like driving. Now realize that I drove all the way out to his place the day before. He was exhausted too after working all day. And he proceeds to tell me that I dont have to work as hard as he does b/c he is on his feet all day so that is why he cant drive to me....hmmmmm....well needless to say we dont hang out b/c both of us are too tired.

Now we come to Friday. He had friends coming into town and asked me to go out with them. I told him that should be ok on wednesday forgetting that some of my friends here in dallas had already scheduled a little birthday dinner for me...Yikes...this one is my fault. I just simply double booked....I am sometimes forgettful...so I can take the heat on this one...I called him and got his voicemail so I also sent a text message explaining the situation. He texted me back that he had already changed plans on friday in order to hang out with me. I apologized back and said that I didnt realize he was going to have to change plans simply to hang out with me. He responded that he didnt have time for ignorant people and forgetful people and that he would make his own plans...hmmmm ( I am not sure why he changed plans when his friends were coming into town first...I wonder...did he change plans with them to hang out with me...that would mean in essence he did the same thing I did....hmmmmm)

We had an actual date schedule for the weekend but I assume that is now called off.. ha ha...

Ok - so from all this drama lets summarize some key points....

First and foremost let me say MY BAD for double booking on Friday night...BUT and this is a BIG BUT...i had only met this guy one time and unfortunately my friends (who had originally planned a dinner for me first) had to come first. I apologized which was all I could do, but I understand this is my screw up....

Second - it seems that he got way too attached after just one visit. Even though I had to cancel on Friday night, I was NOT the main event of that evening anyway. He had friends coming into town to hang out with him ALL night. I was simply going to tag along. He could have simply hung out with his friends and we gone on our date on saturday. I think he had a right to be upset that I double booked, but his reaction was way overboard in my opinion. I mean...I am NOT all that...and he already had friends to hang out with all evening. I think he should have been able to understand...

Thirdly - I am not so sure I need to be dating someone who gets that attached that quickly. I would probably disappoint him anyway, because I have become an extremely INDEPENDENT person. I need, want, and desire my own time and can be very spontaneous in my planning. Yes, it is prob hard to date me, so I bare some of the responsibility for that...but I think there has to be some understanding and flexibility when these situations arise. I dont believe that spazzing out and creating more drama adds any good to the situation.

So anyway....there closes another chapter in my crazy dating life. This guy was very cute, a great kisser, seemed like a sweet guy. It just appeared he got way too attached too quickly....

Or...to play my own devil's advocate (b/c even I have the ability to be honest)---

Maybe I made a bad impression by not being to follow through on my plans Friday night...hmmmmm....yes it is a possibility....

10 Comments:

  • At 3:05 AM, Blogger hbjock said…

    Wow... I'm sorry you had such bad luck with this one cutie. I can see how he would be mad that you overbooked... but for him to just write you off like that, like you're some liar and flake... that's just not fair and right. You deserve better than that, sexy...

     
  • At 9:17 AM, Blogger Matthew said…

    Well - ya know - we all make mistakes - so such is life - i just thought his reaction was a little overboard - esp since we were going to see each other the very next night....but oh well - i will let him go back in the sea - there are plenty of fish out there - i hear there is pretty good fishing in Hawaii....wouldnt you say? :-) :-)

     
  • At 10:46 AM, Blogger Jim said…

    You know, even I double book sometimes (and I'm freakish about keeping my sched updated in Outlook), it happens. I think dudes reaction was a little over the top even if it was your bad.

    Sounds like you've already processed and moved on -- go Matt :)

     
  • At 11:14 AM, Blogger Matthew said…

    Well Jim - that means a lot b/c you are the KING of scheduling - ha ha - yeah I have moved on - I will take what good I can learn from the situation and move on -
    :-) no harm no foul

     
  • At 1:21 PM, Blogger Schlitz25 said…

    Well, yes, i would say its unfortunate that you made that mistake. But more so that he didnt extend you a courtesy, in general thats someone you dont want to date, or be friends with...

    But as your personal friend, i want to address a larger issue..
    Mattie...sweetheart..can we just slow down here abit. Can we say serial dating? People are dying and getting cut off like a night out with Charles Manson...

    Its getting to the point where i cant keep all these boys straight, or rather in order...i know this is just the way its suppose to be when your dating...but what can be done to just slow things down...? It must just be emotionally exhausting, not to mention frustrating...even just a little...

    What about just making slow friends...i dont think when we set out to just make friends people are just chopped left and right...

    i know this is prolly alittle personal, but hey..your phone hasnt been on, so i have to get it out somewhere?!?!? And you know me..im personal.. love you. just some thoughts.

    "The Bearer Of Truth" not the example of it. :P

     
  • At 1:50 PM, Blogger Matthew said…

    Ha Ha - Samuel - I am never concerned for the most part about what you post on my blog...

    But in response to your comment - here I go...

    I am trying to think about the guys I have dated recently.

    I went out with the 23 year old from East Texas and hung out with this last guy only once. I dont know that I have had a LOT of dates as of late...it may be that the dates I have had, have been full of drama. I know I havent been able to communicate that to you over the phone so there ya go. I

    I have also met (as you can read in previous blog entries) a guy from San Antonio which I have actually become friends with (we still email)....and I also met up with a guy from NYC (we went out for dinner when he visited Dallas). I am still friends with him and we talk to this day. Both of these guys are actually good guys and have the potential for longer term friendships.

    So there have been probably about 4 or so dates in the last several months...not a lot by many standards...I think it is just that the last two have been so dramatic (DAMN younger guys!) that they have stood out.

    My phone should be on soon so we can talk more...

    WOW - this was a long comment --
    :-)

     
  • At 2:05 PM, Blogger Matthew said…

    OK - Correction - I have to bring up the number to 6 dates in the last several months...

    I forgot about the boy who couldnt speak...but I mean come on - can you blame me on this one - he WOULDNT even talk at all - how can you even develop a friendship when the other person cant talk with you...LOL

    And there was a date with a guy i mentioned in a previous blog about going to Uncle Julios - but that boy lost interest in me...so that wasnt me chopping him off - he acted like he wasnt interested in me so I backed off...so you cant add that one to my chopping list

    :-)

     
  • At 10:23 AM, Blogger Kree Kra said…

    Why didn't you invite your guy out to dinner with your friends? And Matt...you texted him the message so that in itself seems like a blowoff. You know how I feel about texting :). I know you said that you called and got voicemail, but you should have just left him a message. I bet that he wouldn't have called you "ignorant, etc" if he was actually talking to you. Hope you had a good weekend, regardless.

     
  • At 12:04 PM, Anonymous Brad said…

    kudos to samuel, Ive known you for a long time Matt, way before blogging, maybe its time to try and find "what" you want instead of "who" you want. There always seems to be something wrong with the ones that are interested ? ever think that there isn't a perfect fit out there? just fyi "perfect" fits are a myth.

     
  • At 6:01 PM, Blogger Matthew said…

    Ker - I did leave a message - case closed :-)

    Brad - as far as finding something wrong with everyone - I dont believe in settling for someone who you feel no connection with.
    There have been those guys that for some reason it just didnt work out with.

    Some of them have broken it off with em...(i.e. the guy who decided to kiss on other people in front of me).

    Some of them I have decided not to pursue (i.e. the guy who could not speak, and the guy who went PSYCHO over text message!)

    So yes there have been some who have come and gone, but just b/c it doesnt work out, doesnt mean that it is for the worse. Sometimes it is for the better!

    Do I have a problem with committment..maybe so...but is that necessarily the reason that all my relationships dont work out....abolutely NOT!

    Surely you can see by some examples that some of these guys would have been horrible to date.

    Also, I dont think I have ever espoused that there was such a thing as a perfect fit.

    Life is life - you just have to work with it and roll with the punches -- love you guys

     

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