My So Called Life - The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Embrace life -- both the sweet days and the bitter...embrace the joy and the sadness...the successes and the defeats -- for all of these things, both good and bad, have made you who you are.

Monday, June 27, 2005

Julia Sugarbaker - Her Terminator Tirades and Why We Love Her!

Designing Women was such a great show. Yes I am pulling out my gay card Loud and Proud. I used to watch it every day at 4:00 after coming home from school. Looking back, it is crazy how my parents didnt know I was gay sooner. (Maybe they did!) :-)

I used to love hearing Julia Sugarbaker go off on her rants about everything from social injustice to politics.

My favorits are below:

The Beauty Contest

JULIA: Excuse me, aren't you Marjorie Leigh Winnick, the current Miss Georgia World?
MARJORIE: Why, yes I am.
JULIA: I'm Julia Sugarbaker, Suzanne Sugarbaker's sister. I couldn't help over hearing part of your conversation.
MARJORIE: Well, I'm sorry. I didn't know anyone was here.
JULIA: Yes, and I gather from your comments there are a couple of other things you don't know, Marjorie. For example, you probably didn't know that Suzanne was the only contestant in Georgia pageant history to sweep every category except congeniality, and that is not something the women in my family aspire to anyway. Or that when she walked down the runway in her swimsuit, five contestants quit on the spot. Or that when she emerged from the isolation booth to answer the question, "What would you do to prevent war?" she spoke so eloquently of patriotism, battlefields and diamond tiaras, grown men wept. And you probably didn't know, Marjorie, that Suzanne was not just any Miss Georgia, she was the Miss Georgia. She didn't twirl just a baton, that baton was on fire. And when she threw that baton into the air, it flew higher, further, faster than any baton has ever flown before, hitting a transformer and showering the darkened arena with sparks! And when it finally did come down, Marjorie, my sister caught that baton, and 12,000 people jumped to their feet for sixteen and one-half minutes of uninterrupted thunderous ovation, as flames illuminated her tear-stained face! And that, Marjorie --- just so you will know --- and your children will someday know --- is the night the lights went out in Georgia!

Killing All the Right People

An old "friend"/client of Julia's overhears their plans to decorate an AIDS funeral room.
IMOGENE SALINGER: Now I don't like to hurt anyone's feelings, but if these boys hadn't been doing what they were doing, they wouldn't be getting what's coming to them now.
MARY JO: Imogene, gays aren't the only ones getting it.
IMOGENE: No, but they're the ones who started it.
KENDALL DOBBS: Actually nobody knows how it got started. Gays are just one of the first groups it showed up in.
IMOGENE: Yes, and for a good reason.......you reap what you sow. You boys brought this on yourselves. As far as I'm concerned this disease has one thing going for it.......it's killing all the right people!
JULIA: Imogene, I'm terribly sorry. I'm gonna have to ask you to move your car.
IMOGENE: Why?
JULIA: (pulling her towards the door) Because you're leaving. The only thing worse than all these people who never had any morals before AIDS are all you holier-than-thou types who think you're exempt from getting it.
IMOGENE: Well, for your information, I am exempt. I haven't lived like these people, and I don't care what you say, Julia Sugarbaker, I believe this is God's punishment for what they've done.
SUZANNE: Oh yeah? Then how come lesbians get it less?
IMOGENE: That is not for me to say.......I just know that these people are getting what they deserve!
JULIA: Imogene, get serious! Who do you think you're talking to? I've known you for 27 years, and all I can say is.......if God was giving out sexually transmitted diseases to people as a punishment for sinning, that you would be at the free clinic all the time! ........and so would the rest of us!!
BERNICE: I think she makes a good point.
IMOGENE: Oh, who cares what you think?! (she points at her head) You're not even all there! BERNICE: (shocked) Well, as long as we're on the subject, (pointing at her chest) neither are you!
IMOGENE: (totally furious) Well, you needn't look forward to any more of my business in this lifetime!
JULIA: Wonderful! I'll close up your account! And another thing, my son has an A in chemistry! In fact, he's making all A's! In everything -- including P.E!!

Check out the link below for the rest of her awesome Tirades:

  • Julia Sugarbaker's Terminator Tirades
  • 10 Comments:

    • At 1:49 AM, Blogger Jim said…

      LOL, too funny. That is exactly the episode and line I used on Date3.

       
    • At 1:46 PM, Blogger Justin said…

      Did you ever see the episode where Julia's college professor paints a nude of her?

      I LOVE that episode - soooo funny.

      But I will say, the Golden Girls beat Designing Women hands down.

       
    • At 7:38 PM, Blogger Jim said…

      Hey, I totally forgot about Golden Girls, they were good too.

      "Picture it, Sicily, 1947, a young peasant girl ..." lol

       
    • At 11:04 PM, Blogger hbjock said…

      Julia is the bomb!!! My two favorite tirades of hers are the Miss Georgia incident and the Antibello house tour =)

      Oh, and Jim.. my favorite episode of the Golden Girls... when Blanche tries to be a writer and writes her biography and doesn't sleep for 72 hours and mistakes egg yolks for "little balls of sunshine" LOL

       
    • At 12:37 AM, Blogger Jim said…

      Oh crap, now I am going to have to find the station running GG reruns since that is an episode I havent seen.

      I still like the "Jean The Lesbian" episode.

      Blanche: "Oh yeah, lesbian, isnt Danny Thomas one of them?"

      Dorothy: "No Blanche thats Lebanese"

      LOL

       
    • At 8:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

      GG is on Lifetime like 20 times per week. I must have seen them all 10 times each... gotta love it!

      Thanks for the Tirades site - I will always love Julia!

       
    • At 11:19 AM, Blogger Chris Freeland said…

      This comment has been removed by the author.

       
    • At 11:21 AM, Blogger Chris Freeland said…

      An mp3 of Julia's "Night the lights went out in Georgia" tirade is available here.

       
    • At 8:22 PM, Blogger taylor.malone said…

      I love the AIDS rant so much! I wish I had cable just so I could watch Designing Women and Golden Girls.

       
    • At 3:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

      No, no, no.

      The Jean the Lesbian episode went like this.

      Dorothy: She's a lesbian.

      Rose: Well, so?

      Dorothy: Doesn't that bother you?

      Rose: Well why would it? Danny Thomas is one, isn't he?

      Dorothy (Totally Deadpan): Lebanese, Rose! Danny Thomas is Lebanese!!!

       

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